2014


*Alia watching Football*
Alia - Ye Log ball ko kyu mar rae he?
Frnd - Goal karne k lie !
Alia - Pehle hi to Gol he! Aur kitna gol karnge!  
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मरीज और डाक्टर का रिश्ता....
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इमरजेंसी (एक्सीडेंट या हार्ट अटैक) के वक़्त...
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"डाक्टर साहेब, आप भगवान् हो
इन्हें बचा लो...."
....
अगले दिन मरीज के बच जाने पर और आपात स्तिथि निकल
जाने पर...
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"डाक्टर साहेब, आप तो भगवान् जैसे हो...."
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मरीज के I.C.U. से वार्ड में शिफ्ट होने पर....
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"सब भगवान् की माया है"
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और अंत में छुट्टी होते वक़्त...
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"डाक्टर तो डाकू है..."  
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Cat 1: Main chuhe khane ja rahi hu.
Cat 2: Meoww.
Cat 1: Aaja tu bhi  
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He: Cake Khayegi? 
She: Nahi Chahiye.
He: Mujhko Teri Second Hand Jawani!!  
*SLAPPED*

Funny mobile sms

Facebook Info :- working at student.
"Haan bc, dusra koi job dega bhi nahi tere jaose ko"  

SMS Length: 94

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Rahul Gandhi: "Humne Janta ko muft davaiyan di...."
Public: " To sar dard bhi to tune hi diya tha bc...!!"

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She- ladkiyon ko dekh ke tumhare kaan kyu khade
ho jaatey hain?
Me- accha ladkiyan inhe kaan kehti hain ?  
*slapped*

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जो लोग जरूरत से ज्यादा एडवांस बनते हैं, वो चार्जर के पतले से पिन से भी करंट खाते हैं।  
SMS Length: 221

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Boy teasing a girl~~
Boy~ Jhalak dikhlajaa...jhalak dikhla jaa





Girl~ (Chappal utaar ke) Ek Baar Aaja AajaAaja

SMS Length: 141

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बड़े बुजुर्ग कहते हैं कि
गर्मियों में प्याज़ खाने से कभी लू
नहीं लगती
अब उन्हें कौन समझाएं कि प्याज़ खाने के
बाद
फिर गर्लफ़्रेंड मुँह नहीं लगती  

SMS Length: 385

Good Morning sms


ek shrabi ek baar apni aankhen donate krne gya,
kauntr klrak shrabi se - kuch kehna chahte ho kya?
shrabi - han, jisko bhi meri aankhen lgaao usko kehdena ye do peag lgane ke baad hi khulti hen,

pita bete se - bete tum itne mahan bno ki tumhara naam duniya ke charon kono men fele,
beta- papa mahan to bn jaunga pr ek smsya he,
pita - vo kya?
beta - duniya gol he, jiske char kone ho hi nhi skte fir naam kese charon kono men felega,

pita - priksha nikat he, tumko raat din padhna chahiye,
putr - ji, raat ko to men sota hun,
pita - jaga kro,
putr - aap to kehte hen raat ko ullu jaga krte hen,

1. Ho aapki hr subha khusiyon se bhri,
na ho isme kabhi koi jhmela,
Sada sukhi rahe aapka sawera,
Iwish you a very happy and refreshing morning.


2. 2013 men bar bar esa hua jb tumhe tng kiya,
dukhi kiya
bhoot mushkil men dala,
baar baar presan kiya,
prr 
aaj ye kehna chahta hu,

ki men ye sb 
2014 men bhi krunga
GOOD MORNING
hahaha


3. aap na hote to hm margaye hote,
is duniya men tnha ho gaye hote,
ye phone to aapko good morning kehne ke liye uthaya he
wrna hm abhi bhi sorahe hote...



4. Khwahish aisi kro ki tare bhi jamin pr aa jayen,
dua aisi karo ki kisi ka nasib bdal jaye,
yun to jivn sabhi jite hen,
pr jiyo ese ki kisi ke jivn men khushi la sako..
GOOD MORNING


5. Banho men meri jhul kar,
gr najron se pilaoogi tum,
hm to hosh gva denge,
janat men phonch jaaogi tum..
GOOD MORNING

Teacher: chintu, map men dhund kr btao bharat kaha he
chintu: yeh raha sir
Teacher: shabash!.. bachcho bato bharat ki khoj kisne ki
sare bachche ek sath bole chintu ne.
.........

Teacher (gusse men): tum college kyu jate ho?

santa: vidya ki khatir
tch: to ab so kyu rahe ho
santa: sir aaj vidya nhi aai!

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teacher: tum bde murkh ho balk, men tumhari umar men achchi treh kitab pdh leta tha.
chintu: sir aapko achcha teacher mil gya hoga?

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teacher: shabash lalu, mujhe khushi he ki tumne achche ank liye, aage bhi ese hi achche ank lena.
lalu: ok sir, pr aap bhi prche bhai sahab ki pres men chapwate rehna.

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teacher: papu, agar tumhare paas 15 Apple hon jisme se 6 tum soniya ko dedo, 4 shila ko or 5 indra ko dedo to tumhe kya milega?
papu: sir! mujhe 3 girlfriend milengi.

Girlfriend SMS


girlfriend: kya tumne mujhe yad kiya?
boyfriend: mere gaal dekho! maa ne mujhe
thpd mara kyonki men sote hue tumhare bare men
soch kr muskura raha tha.
girlfriend: haye, itna pyar krte ho!
boyfriend: nhi, shakl dekh kr hansi aajati he.

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ladki(dukandar de): bhaiya, kya aapke paas velntain
day ka koi esa griting card he, jis pr likha ho, tum mere 
pehle or akhri pyar ho
dukandar: han he
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ladki: thik he, 20 de do

















Chinta esi dakini he jo kaleje ko bhi kaat kr kha jati he, iska ilaaj vedh nhi kr skte , vo kitni Medisin lgayega, Kabir ji kehte hen mn ke chintagrst hone ki isthiti kuch esi hoti he, jese samundr ke bhitr aag lagi ho, ismen se na dhua niklta he or na wo kisi ko dikhayi deta he.










Jab men is World men burai khojne chala to mujhe koi bura nhi mila.
jab mene apne man men jhankkr dekha to paya ki mujhse bura koi nhi he.













Badi  badi Books padh kr men kitne hi log mirtu ke dwar phonch gaye, pr sabhi Intelligent
na ho sake, Kabir mante hen ki yadi koi Love ke keval dhai akshr achchi trehn padh len,
mtlb prem ko achchi trhan smajh le to vo sachcha gyani hojayega.













Kabir kehte hen ki ek chote se tinke ki bhi kabhi ninnda nhi krni chahiye jo paao ke niche db jata he, yadi wo tinka kabhi udkr aankh men aagire to kitni gehri pida hoti he.














Gyani se uski jati nhi puchkre usse gyan lena chahiye, mol tlwar ka hota he myan ka nhi.

1 - Women have hunger two-fold, shyness four-fold, daring six-fold, and lust eight-fold as                 compared to men.







2- Certain things like speaking lie, starting a work without any thought, foolish acts, greed,              daredevilry behaviour, impuirty and cruelty are the basic elements of female's nature.



3- This earth is heaven for a person whose, son is obedient, the wife is faithful and whose own      heart is content with the possession, he has got.







4- Man's true son is one who is obedient to his father and a true father is one who looks after         his sons in orderly way. In the same way a true friend is one who is trustworthy. A true wife is       the lady who makes her husband happy in all conditions.





Chanakya niti

1:- A wise man must marry a girl of high breed even if she is ugly in physical appearance. He should not fall for a girl of low upbringing due to her physical charm. The best way to chose the life partner is to select from the family of equal status.


2:- Acharya Chanakya says that we shouldn't trust the beast with claws or sharp horns. In the same way we shouldn't trust rivers, the armed persons, women and the members belonging to royal families.


The true story of the brave child
Delhi के मुगल बादशाह Aurangzeb के यंहा उसके शिकारी जंगल से पकड़ कर बड़ा भारी शेर लाये थे, बादशाह को उस शेर पर इतना घमंड हो गया की वो बार बार कहता की इससे भयानक और बड़ा शेर दुनिया में दूसरा नही हे ,

बादशाह के दरबारी भी उकी हाँ में हाँ मिलाते थे , लेकिन बादशाह के दरबार में महाराजा यशवंत सिंह ने कहा की मेरे पास इससे भी बड़ा शेर हे , बादशाह को ये सुनकर बड़ा क्रोध आया और उसने कहा की तुम अपने शेर को मेरे शेर से लड़ाओ यदि तुम्हारा शेर हार गया तो तुम्हारा सर धड से अलग कर दूंगा राजा ने बादशाह की ये बात स्वीकार कर ली ,

अगले दिन दिल्ली के किले के बहार लोहे का बहूत बड़ा पिंजरा शेरो की लड़ाई के लिए रखा गया, शेरो के इस युद्ध को देखने के लिए लोगों की बहूत ज्यादा भीड़ इकठी हो गई , राजा अपने 10 वर्ष के पुत्र पृथ्वीसिंह के साथ वंहा पर आते हें फिर बादशाह उनसे पूछता हे की तुम्हारा शेर कन्हा हे?

तब राजा बोलते हें की में अपना शेर अपने साथ लाया हूँ आप लड़ाई की आज्ञा दीजिये,


बादशाह की आज्ञा से बादशाह के शेर को लड़ाई के लिए पिंजरे में छोड़ दिया जाता हे, राजा ने अपने पुत्र को पिंजरे में घुस जाने को कहा ये देख कर वंहा के लोग और बादशाह हेरान रह गये, किन्तु 10 वर्ष का बालक पृथ्वीसिंह अपने पिता को प्रणाम करके पिंजरे में घुस गया,

शेर ने पृथ्वीसिंह को देखा एक बार शेर इस तेजस्वी बालक को देखकर पीछे को हट गया, तब बादशाह के सेनिकों ने शेर को भालों की नोक चुभोकर शेर को गुस्सा दिलाया और शेर आग बबूला होकर पृथ्वीसिंह पर कूद गया परन्तु वीर बालक एक तरफ हट गया और उसने अपनी तलवार निकाल ली,

पुत्र को तलवार निकालते देख राजा बोला बेटा शेर के पास तलवार नही हे ये युद्ध धर्म विरुद्ध होगा, पिता की बात सुनकर पृथ्वीसिंह ने तलवार एक तरफ फ़ेंक दी और वेह शेर पर टूट पड़ा उस छोटे से बालक ने शेर का ज्बाड़ा पकड़ कर फाड़ दिया और शेर के दो टुकड़े करके फ़ेंक दिए,

वंहा की सारी भीड़ पृथ्वीसिंह की जये जये कार करने लगी

मित्रों ये था भारत का वीर सपूत एसे अपने इतिहास में अनेको वीर हुए हें जेसे , भरत , पृथ्वीराज चोहान , महाराणा प्रताप, शिवाजी और भी न जाने कितने,


1:- The habit or remaining ideal destroys the learning. If a women goes to other man, she gets destroyed. Little seeding ruins the harvest. Death of the Commander ensure the defeat of his army.

A commander leads his army. He is the real force that keeps the soldiers working like a machine. After his death, his soldiers become aimless.

Learning is the only kind of treasure the multiplies when it is used, it starts shriking. Any kind of the knowledge requires constant updating. Regular exercies keeps it alive.

2:- Education is gained through exercise. A family' s class manifests through its good credentials. A great man is recognized by his habits. Man's eyes display his anger.

3:- A person who is not clever can not be polite talker. A frank person can not be deceitul. The administrators are corrupt in one way or other. A person who likes to cleen is surely romantic.


1:- Fools are jealous of Learne dpeople. Poor are jealous of rich ones. Prostitues hate pious women. Widows envy women with living husbands.

2:- Ones rightly are afraid of crisis and troubles, if they seem probable. But when wise people face them, they face them boldly.

3:- Children born out of the same womb and under the same stars are not alike in qualities and nature. In the same way as Ber tree's fruits and throns are not alike in shape, size and taste,
Diversity is the law of nature. No two things are exactly alike. All the people in the world are different in nature, attitudes and aptitudes inspite of being bon in similar conditions. Everyone has different thumbprint. Even the nature of twins is seen different.























Santa or Banta ek bank men nokri krte the ek din us benk men lutere ghus gaye unhone pura bank lutliya fir kramchariyon ko diwar ke saath khde hone ke liye kaha, fir unse unke pars anguthi or kimti chijen chinne lage.
Santa or Banta bhi usi laine men khade the tabhi santa ne banta ke haathon men kuch diya banta ne pucha ki ye kya he
Santa bola ki ye wo hi 1000rs hen jo mene tumse liye the.





















Banta ek building ki chalisvin manjil pr khda hua tha ki tabhi uske mobile ki ghanti bji. udhar se kisi ne kaha santa teri biwi prito accident men mr gayi 

mare dukh ke usne forn chalisvin mnjil se hi chalang lga di 
jb vo tisvin mnjil ke paas phoncha tb usne socha ye prito kon he? ise to men janta hi nhi.
bisvi manjil pr yaad aaya meri to abhi shadi hi nhi hui
dsvin mnjil pr mera naam to banta he santa nhi.


The awakening aroused in mind at the occasions of hearing of religious discoures, attending a funeral in the cremation ground and during the period of illness, would bring salvation to a man.

A man repents after committing a sin. If the same wisdom were to be there the commission of the sin instead of being a hindsight, man would become a certain any sin. In that case every person would become entite for Nirvana.


A man must not feel proud after doing charity, penance, gaining knowledge, cultivating politeness and on becoming worldly wise. Because this world is full of people, who excel in these fields and may be far better than him.

Money lost can be reagaines, friends can be made and a new wife can be had through a remarriage. But a human boady is not renewable.


People can come together to make an army and vanquish the enemy. Unity brings power just like straws unite to become to thatch to serve as a roof of a structure and provide safely the adverse weather.

The oil or water, secret with a bad character, donation to a worthly recipient and learning of a wise one are bound to spread all over.

In the above couplet Chanakya says that a drop of oil on water spreads over a wide surface. In the same way, tell secret to a person of a bad character, he will whisper it inot thousand ears to spread it.
Chanakya niti

If you wish for deliverance, give up bad habits and addictions because these are poison for you. Have the spirt of borgiven ess, the right conduet Compassion piety, truth and similar other qualities which are the Amrit for human.

The people who reval the secret of other, they themselves get destroyed like a snake that gets perished after being trapped in a mothhill.


Amirt is the king of all the medicines. The food is the most satisfying of all means of pleasure. Eye is the queen of all the sensory organs. Head is the most superior of all the parts of the body.
No messenger can go to sky, no talk starts before the saying to someone else. no combination can be there in that reason but still a learned knows well when there will be the eclipses of sun and moon. Those who are tell this, how they are learned one.   
Chanakya niti

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